Top 10 List (about being pregnant)

This list was just too funny not to post. I realize that many of you may not get all the references, as it's about my best friends from high school, but it's funny nonetheless. By the way, some names have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent ;-).

here goes ladies, my [MG's] top ten list about pregnancy crap I have learned from my friends and just some shit I have made up. Enjoy!

10. It is not appropriate to ask who the father is (we're not on maury povich here, so there will be no DNA tests)

9. There are no names left for the baby because Aunt Starfruit has reserved them all for her 14 children.

8. Dr. Gross will not in fact be delivering the baby, we all may be friends but I have no desire to see snatches

7. Babies do have cravings, Vodka is not one of them

6. Your boobs get bigger (if only i had known this sooner)

5.Aunt AH should only babysit under supervised conditions (picture AH changing a poopy diaper, ah hilarious)

4. Peeing your pants when you get drunk equals funny, peeing a little when you sneeze not so fun apparently

3. Pregnancy sex????? apparently it helps to get the baby out at the end (aaahhhh daddy you're poking me)

2. Aunt MG cannot use the baby to get free drinks at the bar, it's not a fucking puppy after all. Plus the new parents will get a breathalyzer to check me before I'm allowed to hold it

1. Squirting milk out your boobs when you orgasm, BW better get some goggles! (this was thanks to the crazy chick in key west for those of you that were on that trip)

Thanks, MG, for the laugh. Oh and by the way, I lost 1 lb. this week. I just realized I forgot to post this past week.