Top 10 List (about being pregnant)

This list was just too funny not to post. I realize that many of you may not get all the references, as it's about my best friends from high school, but it's funny nonetheless. By the way, some names have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent ;-).

here goes ladies, my [MG's] top ten list about pregnancy crap I have learned from my friends and just some shit I have made up. Enjoy!

10. It is not appropriate to ask who the father is (we're not on maury povich here, so there will be no DNA tests)

9. There are no names left for the baby because Aunt Starfruit has reserved them all for her 14 children.

8. Dr. Gross will not in fact be delivering the baby, we all may be friends but I have no desire to see snatches

7. Babies do have cravings, Vodka is not one of them

6. Your boobs get bigger (if only i had known this sooner)

5.Aunt AH should only babysit under supervised conditions (picture AH changing a poopy diaper, ah hilarious)

4. Peeing your pants when you get drunk equals funny, peeing a little when you sneeze not so fun apparently

3. Pregnancy sex????? apparently it helps to get the baby out at the end (aaahhhh daddy you're poking me)

2. Aunt MG cannot use the baby to get free drinks at the bar, it's not a fucking puppy after all. Plus the new parents will get a breathalyzer to check me before I'm allowed to hold it

1. Squirting milk out your boobs when you orgasm, BW better get some goggles! (this was thanks to the crazy chick in key west for those of you that were on that trip)

Thanks, MG, for the laugh. Oh and by the way, I lost 1 lb. this week. I just realized I forgot to post this past week.

Crazy Ex?

I think my older brother's ex may be a wee bit stalkerish. Of course, this is probably a case of pot calling the kettle black given the amount of internet stalking that I do myself. But, whatever.

The reason I believe she a bit stalkerish is because she has looked at my MySpace page approximately 16 times, with 8 of them being after they broke up. The most recent one was 2 days ago. They broke up around Christmas. First, we aren't friends on MySpace because I wasn't a huge fan of her (that's probably a party foul, admitting it in such a public forum - oh well) and I don't think she was a big fan of me either. Second, many of you know that I haven't updated my MySpace page in ages. Third, I don't correspond with my brother on MySpace. We live together; if I have something to tell him, I say it in person. Basically, there's no reason for her to be looking at my MySpace page.

And it's not like she can pretend it's someone else - she's looking at my page from her place of employment. It's a pretty unique place of employment, so I can't imagine that someone else from there is looking at my page.

Oh, and for clarification, this is my brother's most recent ex - not KM, who I think is great.

Big Loser

Yay! I lost a total of 3.8 lbs. this week. I have no idea how that happened. Maybe the not drinking soda/pop (depending on where you're from) during the week and the not eating dessert after dinner is paying off! Whatever it is, I'll take it. Now I just hope it's not one of those weeks where I have a huge loss and then next week I stay the same or gain a little bit. I hate that. Not too mention, I admit, I had no shame last night at WW as I took off all the jewelry I don't normally wear for WI and my velvet blazer to ensure that I had a loss. In any case, I hope to keep up the good work and I'm excited that I no longer have a + in the "Weight Lost in '08" section of my blog.

I'm also very very very excited by the fact that I finally have internet at the office! It's only been three weeks since we moved in here. Do you know how hard it is to conduct business with no internet? It's practically impossible these days. I was going through withdrawal. I'm a compulsive e-mail checker. Although, I have become addicted to Mahjong Titans. It's my new favorite game.

Half marathon training is going enh. I didn't do all my days this week, but I hope to improve this coming week. I need to get on the ball, so I don't hurt myself again. That's it for now.

No Clever (or even semi-clever) Title This Week

No, your eyes do not deceive you - I am up 0.4 lbs. on the year. Whoops. I pretty much ate like there was no tomorrow last week. I am not sure why, but I imagine if I took a minute to think about it, it would help tremendously with my weight loss effort. I'll have to put it on my "to do" list.

As for the 1/2 marathon training, it's going pretty well. I ended up doing 4 miles last week for my long run. It went better than I expected. I averaged 13:42 min./mile, which may not seem great for most people. However, if you factor in that I haven't run since last May (7 months) and that I've gained a significant amount of weight, it's not too shabby. It's more than a minute faster per mile than I averaged when I first started running this time last year. I need to shave off 42 seconds/mile in order to meet my goal of finishing the Indy Mini in under 3 hours. I feel like that is an awful lot of time. Yikes.

I also ran 4 miles this week for my long run. I was supposed to do 5 miles this week according to my schedule. But, I decided to do only 4 miles again since it was only my second long run and I didn't want to overdo it early on. Also, it was extremely windy yesterday (gusts up to 20-30 mph) and I was running outside, so I doubt I would have made it another mile even if I wanted to.

This week I'm going to focus on staying OP. I've also decided to give a couple things up for Lent, even though I'm not Catholic and I don't have to give anything up for Lent: (1) no dessert after dinner and (2) no soda/pop during the week. As a side note, I'm not completely giving up sweets. I'm just not going to be eating them after dinner.

Fully Operational

I am happy to report that I no longer feel the need to cut off my left foot. It is once again fully operational. I was able to jog both Tues. and Thurs. this week and I'm about to head out for my long jog. I'm supposed to do 4 miles today, but I might take it easy and only do 3 miles. We'll see how the foot feels at 3 miles.

In weight loss news, I lost exactly 0 lbs. this week. At least I didn't gain weight, I guess. Hopefully, I'll have a loss this coming week, if I can get myself under control. For some reason, I'm ravenous all the time and all I want is crap, i.e. Chipotle, which I did eat last night. Not good. I'm trying to pull myself together.

That's all for now. Sorry, I was late in posting, but I don't have internet at work right now. I changed office space and AT&T is stupid. They were supposed to hook up our DSL this past Mon., but because they are big, fat, stupid liars, we still don't have internet and we may not get it for at least another week. It makes life very difficult.